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COULD IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

Should you have overlooked the footage of Iliman Ndiaye pulling off a unusual dribbling move at Everton’s training ground, it’s a good watch. In executing a move so nasty that it would have been appropriate at a Harlem Globetrotters exhibition match, the skill quickly concluded what was meant to be a casual practice to finish what had been – up to that point – an revealing conversation about how amateur players can get another opportunity after being released by professional academies.

Ndiaye, who played Sunday League football directly before being picked up by Sheffield United at 19, is perfectly positioned to discuss this topic. “Don’t concentrate on the rejection and one day your luck is going to materialize,” he informed a young player shortly before deploying said ninja move on his victim, in doing so vividly showing the gulf between Premier League and amateur footballers he had been working to minimize.

Ndiaye is far from the only professional footballer to take things that little bit too far. A younger Michael Owen gleefully humiliating a young shot-stopper in front of a annoyed Neville Southall is obviously the gold standard in this unique area – but the one-time Reds forward is far from the only offender. Both Christian Eriksen and Shinji Kagawa have reduced toddlers to actual tears with a series of merciless tricks, although it’s considered that the latter was at least driven by the Japanese player’s social media regretful message – “this frustration makes a person stronger” – and the associated label of #friendship.

Kagawa’s former Dortmund teammates Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Nuri Sahin at least had the manners to be defeated against 100 children when the three lined up during the mid-game pause of their farewell game for BVB. A Real Madrid XI that included Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso showed less mercy when they took on 109 Chinese kids in a similar experiment. But returning to the beginning, it’s calculated that only 180 of the 1.5 million boys currently playing structured junior soccer in England will ever feature in the Premier League, a sobering statistic for young players across the country.

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FEATURED STATEMENT

“Football took me but it never left me because I never gave up on my goal. I went from team to team. The devotion to the game propels you. I couldn’t always see where it was leading me. But today I have the solution” – national team manager Veljko Paunovic takes time out from his training to discuss his path.

READER CORRESPONDENCE

“Nice to hear that Kevin Mac Allister will be included by Argentina. Ideally, if he goes to the Bigliest Most Peaceful Cup next year, he’ll research how to navigate the venue locations – let’s avoid him being disoriented in New York” – James Humphries.

“Sources state that 1,024 players in the Turkish league have been suspended due to suspected participation in a betting scandal. It would be amazing if that number could be increased to the same level of usual detail-orientation associated with Football Daily – that is, 1,057 readers. By my math, that’s about 33 more perfectionists. If I volunteer to be banned from playing professionally in Turkey (hardly a difficult decision at my age and, um, talent), are there 32 more folks willing to participate in my quest for symmetry?” – Mike Wilner.

“As a regular follower and Florida resident, can I preemptively object about the coming period of published letters about which highway one uses to get to various locations in your island nation? I mean, I was stuck in gridlock on I-4 at 2am on a Tuesday night driving through Orlando once, but that’s the whole story. There’s no meaningful conclusion to the tale. (I-4 links Tampa on the Gulf Coast to Daytona on the Atlantic via Orlando/Walt Disney World, and can have traffic issues at any time)” – Rasteen Nowroozi.

“Apropos Wythenshawe FC, I recollect many years ago playing for a Sunday, very social side, Turnpike Lane Hibs, on Clapham Common. One morning a bloke known as ‘Danny’ turned up to play. I have no idea who invited him. Apparently he was an actor; he had a useful left foot. (Yes, Daniel Day-Lewis)” – Jason Steger.

“Together with some co-workers and mates, I play a game of football each Friday afternoon. Our most senior member is pushing 80, while the most junior are in their twenties. To ensure a good time for everyone, we have a basic guideline regarding the quality of player: you can be fast or skilled, but ideally not both. We occasionally have players who disregard this principle, but usually manage to drag them down to our level over time” – Lars Esbjerg.